Marguerite Picard Blog

Hi and welcome to my blog.

This blog is a free resource for you with the aim to educate and express opinions about collaborative family law, divorce, separation and child custody. All articles are informative and are up to date with current practices. Please enjoy reading and take care of yourself. - Marguerite.

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Divorce a Separation Best Performed Co-operatively

Collaborative Divorce

This article by Tara Eisenhard really sums up the essence of our practice. At our law firm we work collaboratively with a couple and their family to achieve an outcome that is the best possible option for all of your family. Working co-operatively through the divorce separation process with a team that includes a lawyer, pscychologist and financial planner is now a popular and recommended process from couples that used collaborative divorce.
At Marguerite Picard Family Law we believe wholly in this process of Collaborative Divorce.  I hope you read the following article if you are considering divorce and are open to this new team based separation process.

separation divorce and childrenFrom a post in “familyaffaires.com”

by Tara Eisenhard~
Throughout a marriage, couples make a multitude of decisions. They determine where and when to hold their commitment ceremony. They decide where to live and how to decorate their home. They make choices about meals, household chores, major purchases and the names of their children. The process isn’t always easy. Sometimes conclusions take months to reach. But, for the most part, couples make these important decisions together.

Yet, when it comes to divorce, many people are willing, and sometimes eager, to give up their power to determine the future of their families. With clenched fists or shrugging shoulders, they retain attorneys to speak for them. With open wallets, they march into courtrooms and allow a dark-robed stranger to make official rulings about the best interest of their children.

Why? Is it because angry and well-meaning friends and family urge divorcing individuals to fight with all their might? Is it because the idea of a divorce is too daunting to handle alone? Perhaps couples simply don’t want to deal with such unpleasantness by themselves, and they’d rather pay professionals to do the dirty work.

I’m guessing the answer is all of the above, and then some. Regardless of the reasons people place the fate of their families in another’s hands, they are rarely satisfied with the outcome. Not only is the process extremely costly, it renders families powerless in determining their fates

If you are facing the separation process, here are some ways to maintain personal power in your divorce.  Think of your ex as your ally. I realize this might sound a bit absurd, given our cultural regard for the divorce process. In reality, and from a logical perspective, it’s not so crazy. You got married, acquired assets and created children as a team, and your divorce process should be approached in the same manner. Consider the final decree to be a goal that you both share.

Set more goals. Both personally and as a family. If you know ahead of time where you want to be at the end of the process, you can make better decisions along the path.

Use your professional team wisely. Throughout the divorce process, you may choose to obtain the assistance of a lawyer, therapist and financial planner, to name a few. Respect these figures for their individual specialties, and consult with them appropriately. Don’t call your lawyer to discuss the balance in your savings account, and don’t ask your therapist for advice about your legal proceedings. Most importantly, do not blindly follow the advice of anyone. Trained professionals can provide valuable guidance, but you and your partner should agree on the final decisions for your family.

Consider mediation. Mediators are neutral third parties dedicated to helping individuals resolve conflict. Unlike the litigation process, mediation empowers disputants to speak for themselves and determine solutions that will work best for their situation.

Keep your emotions in check. It’s been said, “He who angers you controls you.” The emotional roller coaster of divorce isn’t a fun ride. Thus it’s a common practice to latch onto anger because it masquerades as purpose and offers a sense of power. In truth, anger can be a wonderful teacher, but only when examined from a safe distance. Instead of allowing the ugliness to consume you, take a step back and consider all options before choosing an appropriate action.

In most cases, the quickest, easiest and most cost-effective divorce process involves soon-to-be exes cooperatively seeking solutions and making determinations as a team. Don’t surrender your wisdom and power to choose the best options for you and your family.

Comment: I think this article was worth your time. I would add that Collaborative Divorce is  the gold standard in empowering and peaceful divorce, and that is why it is at the heart of my practice. Remember all the decisions you have made together, co-operate it will save you money and while you are thinking money ask your lawyer about an agreed legal fee arrangement.

If you found some value in this article you may also like the following:

1. http://www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk/resources/my-child-is-worried-about/divorce-separation.html

2. http://familyaffaires.com/blog/family-rules-following-divorce/#more-1230

3. http://margueritepicard.com.au/success-stories/

I’ll Be Watching You: Family Violence

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Child Custody: When Parents ‘cannot communciate reasonably and civilly with each other at all’.

Child Custody | Family Court Decision A recent decision of the Family Court decided that it was not in the best interests of a child for her parents to have joint responsibility for reaching decisions about major long-term issues with respect to the child. The decision that parents do not share responsibility for a child goes against the usual presumption,… Read more

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Keeping Kids out of the Middle of your Separation

Separation Children Marriage Breakdown Separation is tough. It is especially tough for kids when their parents involve them in the details of the breakdown of the marriage relationship. I recently had a conversation with someone who works in a primary school. It was shocking to learn from her how common it is that children as young as eight and nine… Read more

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The end of homelessness or upgraded tennis facilties?

Homelessness The Need For Political Will The Melbourne Age today ran a front page story about homelessness, and the need for political will to spend money on accommodation and support to keep people in housing. The  funding sought by the Council to Homeless Persons for its ten year plan is said to be less than half of the amount just… Read more

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Talking to your Children after Separation and Divorce

Children the Transition after Divorce I have great admiration for the work of Rosalind Sedacca. The more I work with separating families, the deeper my commitment to the care of children in separating families, and the need for parents to receive support and education in their new role parenting across two households. As always, the article below contains Rosalind’s wisdom… Read more

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