This blog is a free resource for you with the aim to educate and express opinions about collaborative family law, divorce, separation and child custody. All articles are informative and are up to date with current practices. Please enjoy reading and take care of yourself. - Marguerite.
What happens to the idea of fighting with your spouse partner during and after your separation or your divorce, if you accept that argument doesn’t work?
One idea about arguing with other people is that it gives them the opportunity to dig further into their deepest beliefs, which actually strengthens their own view. Separation is hugely stressful; it is not a time when we want to cope with any more change than necessary. We want to listen to what keeps us feeling as we already do. That is going to be our own argument or the voice in our own head, and not what our spouse is saying.
Before you read further you may wish to watch this brief video with some ideas on how to agrue constructively in a relationship.
So how do we break this cycle so that we are able to discuss, and not argue, about the things that have to be organised after separation? Exploring our own convictions or beliefs might be the best way to lose them or at least lose our fierce attachment to them, so that we can hear our spouse instead of defending our own belief.
Working with a counsellor or psychologist is one approach to learning what it is about our own beliefs that might be getting in the way of real communication. This might be an unexpected win, for both partners that are involved in the relationship.
Here are some ways to build health after separation and divorce and to avoid becoming a statistic about the ill effects of separation: Take care of yourself. Sleep, exercise, diet, friendship and relaxation are all important aspects of your life to take care of so that you reduce the stress of separation. Don’t try to understand everything that went wrong… Read more
Separation – Safety Concerns for Parents The Australian Institute of Family Studies has released research about safety concerns for parents after separation. In a study of 7,000 families, the good news is that for 60% of families, a friendly or co-operative parenting relationship was established. For 20% of families there were concerns about emotional abuse after separation, and alarmingly… Read more
Advice for the Recent Divorcee Does the idea of letting go the pain of separation and divorce appeal to you? One of the most helpful steps you can take to let go of anger, sorrow and tension is to forgive your former partner. The secret of forgiveness is that it is all about you, and not about the person you… Read more
Relationship breakdown is never easy. Working out the best way to provide financial support for children after separation seems to be even harder in many families. It creates hot disputes and continues or creates ill-feeling between parents. The existence of a formula in the Child Support Assessment Act has not been a solution. It can be helpful to remember: Child… Read more
Maybe you ask this question because you have a perception about what it means to engage a lawyer? And quite likely this is negative perception. You may be thinking that if you see a lawyer you will have to pay unreasonably large sums of money, that you will lose control of your own case, and that the lawyer will make… Read more