Marguerite Picard Blog

Hi and welcome to my blog.

This blog is a free resource for you with the aim to educate and express opinions about collaborative family law, divorce, separation and child custody. All articles are informative and are up to date with current practices. Please enjoy reading and take care of yourself. - Marguerite.

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Does facing your ex-spouse in negotiations make you feel ill? Help is at hand.

Does mediation sound like a bad idea because you have to be in a  room with your ex?

Thinking about the first time you have to meet your ex, either after some time, or when you have to negotiate with them, makes everyone nervous, tense or downright scared. Added to that tension, you may be worried about meeting the mediator or the collaborative team too, and wondering if its all too much. And if you had to do that all at once, it would be too much.

Good practitioners get how you are feeling, and know that preparation and emotional and psychological support are almost always needed as the foundation for any negotiation. And that support definitely includes working on your apprehension, helping you and your advisors to understand what that is about, and making sure you have practice and time and coaching before sitting in a room with your ex.

Good practitioners will never let you walk into a negotiation room with one or more strangers. It is not difficult to make sure that you have met with everyone who you will be working with, long before you sit in a room with them. Sadly, it can happen though, which is about thoughtlessness. You should never be afraid to ask questions about how meetings are going to be managed, and to let your lawyer/financial planner/psychologist/mediator know that you need support and a plan to manage your anxiety.

You will find that it is caring professionals who are attracted to keeping people out of Court, and helping with mediation and collaboration. They are just ordinary people, and want to help and to do their jobs well. They will want to get to know you, to understand what you need, how past conflict has been managed, what upsets or worries you, how you react under pressure. Your ‘hot spots’ and your coping strategies will be uncovered as part of good preparation. Good practitioners will want to know all those things about your ex as well.

Its okay for you to remind your practitioner what you need. You can expect that to be welcomed, because like you, they want you to reach decisions you can live with, forever, and that’s never just about the money or the parenting timetable.

 

 

 

 

There’s a Lot of Life After Divorce

Most people don’t want to separate and divorce, even if they want their relationship to end. Separation and everything that follows is a time most people would like to wake up and find is over. Getting through it is all you can do, but there are some helpful things to think about. Maybe the most important of those is that there’s a lot of life after divorce. And… Read more

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Body Language: When looks can ‘kill’

You’ve all heard the idea that communication is only about 7% of the words you say, and the rest is body language and tone of voice? Recently something happened at my office that reinforced the power of the ‘vibe’. I was expecting a couple to come in for an information session about their divorce options. A staff member rushed in and… Read more

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Is a Divorce your New Year’s resolution for 2016?

Is your New Year resolution to get divorced? Lots of people will answer ‘Yes’ to this question if they are honest. If your answer is ‘Yes’, because you can’t face another year of indecision, and staying in a marriage or relationship you feel is not working, here are some things you need to know. You won’t make a decision to… Read more

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