Effects Of Divorce On Children
Just like their parents going through a divorce children too will suffer from depression and anxiety. Children will wonder as the separation progresses “where is my place in this family”?
As Gary Direnfeld, renowned social worker, explains in the video below.
Children need to be reassured and have their concerns around the parents divorce explained to them in language they understand. That is one of the reasons that I recommend the service of a psychologist during the divorce and for as long as necessary.
Collaborative lawyers and mental health professionals recognise that the children who do best during a divorce are those who experience the least conflict between their parents.
Avoid the pitfalls and expensive path of litigation for child custody in divorce. Think about how you might approach co-operative parenting with your partner.
Engaging with a psychologist during the divorce will enable the partners in a divorce process to learn how to communicate with each other. This helps to avoid an often used device of making messengers out of the children for parental communication, placing stress on the children. It is wise to avoid talking badly about the other parent because your children only find it emotionally stressful.
Additionally a psychologist will aid parents to tell children the right way that their parents are separating, to avoid the emotional angst that can ensue if children hear the wrong message way. Parents need to have the same story about the separation and to know how to tell the children that it is not their fault.
You’ve heard the saying “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” well here is one for the divorcing couple “Don’t throw your spouse under the bus in front of the kids”.
Gary’s one piece of advice for parents, as I have mentioned earlier is to seek out the service of a mental health professional, social worker or psychologist to navigate the emotional aspects of separation. The emotional aspects of property division, spousal support, child support, financial issues and other matters are often legislated for but cause excessive emotional grief for the separating couple. Gary highly recommends the professionals mentioned prior to learn how to speak to your spouse in a business manner.
Learn how to navigate the divorce minefield with respectful communication with your spouse. Become better co-parents through the divorce and avoid involving your children in any retribution against your former partner.
Did you like the video by Gary Direnfeld? Try out this video also by Gary on the coming together of collaborative lawyers, financial planners and psychologists in a truly collaborative manner for the betterment of their clients; between 6:58 and 7:35 time slot on the video.
This post from my blog might also be of interest.
Check out this post to see “What the Court considers when making a child custody ruling”.